Mind Advantage

Jacqui Manning of Mind Advantage was quoted in a recent edition of Junior magazine. Here’s some of what she had to say:

Psychologist Jacqui Manning, who runs the Mind Advantage for Mums program in Sydney, believes it’s about making time for one another – and not feeling guilty. “Happy parents make for a happier child. If you’re connecting as lovers as well as parents, your child will be more secure for it,” she says.

Keeping your partner in the loop if you’re not physically up to it is important – and don’t underestimate the power of a cuddle. “Don’t stop cuddling. If you’re on the couch together, touch! Hold hands when you walk down the street. It’s immensely important in keeping you both connected,” says Manning.

Resurrecting your sex life as soon as you feel able is crucial, too, she adds. It’s easy to let sex slide to the bottom of the to-do list, but write it on the calendar – and stick to it. That may seem clinical, but setting goals will help get you back into the groove. “Leave the house messy, let the washing pile up for a day, don’t worry if the toys aren’t packed away – don’t prioritise a clean house over your relationship,” she laughs.

Establish routines “One mum I know makes sure their child goes to bed at 7pm so she and her partner can have adult time – to talk, share a glass of wine, watch some trash TV – whatever it is that connects you and whatever you used to do in the evenings before bubba came along,” says Manning.

Let dad bond with bub You’ll avoid territorial parenting and ensure he has just as special a relationship with your baby that you do, which will further foster closeness between you. “Set up times when dad can be on his own with the child so he grows in confidence,” says Manning. “And remember you’re going to have different ways of doing things - as long as the baby’s safe, does it really matter if he doesn’t do things like you do? Learn to let go.”

Have fun! Manning agrees that date nights are something to put in place. “I think by the time your baby is three to six months old, or even earlier, you should be having regular dates with your partner. Get a standing arrangement with a babysitter so there’s no backing out!”

Be nice to one another It sounds silly, but it’s the little things that keep the fires burning, says Manning. “Compliment each other. Leave cute notes where your partner will find them. Bring home your partner’s favourite chocolate. Get into the mindset that you’re a team and the rest falls into place.”